an entry on my diary last april 9, 2007

April 9, 2007

            He left me again as I have feared. He said he had a problem and he wants to deal with it on his own. I don’t want to think of him right now because it would only cause me multiple heartaches and in the end I would only hate him. I want everything between us to be alright even if he wants to be with someone else. I am contented in just talking to him and see that he is happy with his life and decisions. I don’t know if he will ever come back to me. I am not asking for him to be mine forever because I know I will never be his one and only but I want to be by his side and let him feel how important he is to me and how much I value what we have right now even if most people would think that I would be better off with another guy. How I adore this man that I would give anything and everything just to see him smile and glance my way. My baby quicksilver that is what he is, very elusive yet addictive. There is really something in him that I cannot find in any other guy and for me it is an important ingredient to my Mr. Right maybe that is the reason why even if I know that I have to find someone who will really value me I am still hoping that he would care for me just a tiny-winy bit. Truly, Michael Delator Mantua is the man I cannot live without.

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