Being my first doesn’t mean you are the best.
Last night wasn’t a good night. I was forcing myself to sleep. How many times do I have to feel the anguish before I stop this nonsense? This is insanity. Creating a cave is not good. Living in a lie is definitely not good. How many sleepless nights do I have to get through before I can truly say it is enough? I am on my own and I don’t know if I could do it all alone. I need someone…anyone… if only serenity could talk.
Last night I was shivering not from the cold but from the loneliness inside. Serenity tried to comfort me but it was not enough. Serenity said HE is not worth it. I am better off with someone else. But I ask him who this someone else is? Can you find him for me? I am sick of being alone. Serenity I promise you if I find that man I will make sure he will never leave me just like the others. I believe myself to be a strong lady…. But in my heart of hearts I know I am not that kind of woman. Loneliness is sinking in where happiness should be. Fear instead of trust is inside. Serenity is looking at me as I am typing this blog. I haven’t cried for some time now and he is worried.
